Few people know what the true definitions of “introvert” and “extrovert” really are. They have nothing to do with social desire or enjoyment.

Instead of signifying one’s social preference, these terms refer to how energy is built. 

An extrovert is recharged, or energized, by being around people. These similar social engagements, while likely enjoyed by the introvert, feels draining. They come away feeling exhausted and in need of alone time in order to refill their energy level. 

The introvert spends quality, quiet time by themself (or perhaps with another they are completely comfortable with) in order for their energy to be refreshed. Alone time, however, is draining for the extrovert. As a result, they find the need to be surrounded by others in order to strengthen their energy level. 

Knowing how your energy is built and spent is important; it allows you to care for yourself well and safeguard your limitations. 

But what if you’re in a relationship with someone who recharges in a different way than you? 

Make sure to talk about what fuels and drains your energy levels. Don’t assume or expect your significant other needs what you do. (Introverts, it’s not a bad sign when your partner would rather have a group date than spend a quiet night at home.)

Most importantly, allow them the opportunity to rebuild their energy in the way they need. (Don’t take it personally, extroverts, when your introverted loved one seeks time alone.)

The cycle of ebbing and refreshing energy is a constant, daily process. One that, with knowledge and awareness, will benefit yourself and your relationships.