Do you speak your mind or swallow your words? Do you struggle sharing or feeling heard? What’s the best way to communicate with others?
A.J. Garcia, MA, LMFT, QCS
Communication is important, but so is the way in which you’re communicating. Sharing what you have to say in the right way is vital to a healthy, thriving relationship.
There are four main ways that people communicate, but only one of them is advised. The other three, unfortunately, tend to erode or discourage a healthy connection. As you review the list, I encourage you to be honest with yourself about the strategies you tend to use most often.
Aggressive Communication
Someone is communicating aggressively when they intend to directly control another person’s actions or illicit a specific outcome. They are explicitly straightforward in their verbiage and commands, ignoring the feelings or opinions of others. Examples of aggressive communication are “Stop doing that”, tone or language to exude dominance, or directive statements beginning with the word “you”. This communication style regularly leads to disappointment and insecurity, since reality shows we have control over ourselves and no one else.
Passive Communication
Passive Aggressive Communication
This style is a blend of the first two, displaying indirect aggression instead of stating it explicitly. This communicator seeks increased control, but does so through passive and peripheral means that avoids confrontation. thereby making themselves feel more powerful. Examples of passive communication are stubborn resistance, neglectful engagements, or apathetic responses, likely due to insecurities preventing them from expressing themselves openly and appropriately. This communication style facilitates personal anxiety and relational uncertainty.
Assertive Communication
The goal of an assertive communicator is to confidently express their thoughts, opinions, needs, and boundaries. They aren’t looking for a specific reaction or response, as they recognize the power of individual ownership and responsibility. This is the healthiest way to engage with others. Assertive communication is characterized by respectful, direct, appropriate expression. This communication style fosters healthy, strong relationships and deepened personal confidence.
What style most closely describes the way you engage with others? How can you take steps to strengthen your assertive communication skills?
Let’s #KeepMovingForward together!
For further information, contact A.J. Garcia at 407.608.2444 or ajgarcia@thrivecounsel.com.
