Do you speak your mind or swallow your words? Do you struggle sharing or feeling heard? Do you speak your mind or swallow your words? Learn the differences between aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication, and how your communication style can affect your relationships.
Communication is important, but so is the way in which you’re communicating. Sharing what you have to say in the right way is vital to a healthy, thriving relationship.
There are four main communication styles, but only one of them is advised. The other three, unfortunately, tend to erode or discourage a healthy connection. As you review the list, I encourage you to be honest with yourself about the strategies you tend to use most often.
Aggressive Communication
Someone is communicating aggressively when they intend to directly control another person’s actions or elicit a specific outcome. They are explicitly straightforward in their verbiage and commands, ignoring the feelings or opinions of others. Examples of aggressive communication are “Stop doing that”, tone or language to exude dominance, or directive statements beginning with the word “you”. This communication style regularly leads to disappointment and insecurity, since reality shows we have control over ourselves and no one else.
Passive Communication
This is in stark opposition to the aggressive style of communicating, in that one chooses to hide their emotions and opinions in favor of withholding information. Unfortunately, this often results in being walked over or pushed to the side, exacerbating the lack of confidence and humiliation that encourages this particular style. Passive communication is characterized by an avoidance of openness, sharing, and addressing concerns, in favor of going along and not making waves.
This communication style prolongs relational struggles, perpetuates self-doubt, and allows others to treat us like a doormat.
Passive Aggressive Communication
This style is a blend of the first two, displaying indirect aggression instead of stating it explicitly. This communicator seeks increased control, but does so through passive and peripheral means that avoids confrontation, thereby making themselves feel more powerful. Examples of passive communication are stubborn resistance, neglectful engagements, or apathetic responses, likely due to insecurities preventing them from expressing themselves openly and appropriately. This communication style facilitates personal anxiety and relational uncertainty.
Assertive Communication
The goal of an assertive communicator is to confidently express their thoughts, opinions, needs, and boundaries. They aren’t looking for a specific reaction or response, as they recognize the power of individual ownership and responsibility. This is the healthiest way to engage with others. Assertive communication is characterized by respectful, direct, appropriate expression. This communication style fosters healthy, strong relationships and deepened personal confidence.
What style most closely describes the way you engage with others? How can you take steps to strengthen your assertive communication skills?
Connect with purpose. Live with confidence.
Better Communication Can Change Your Relationships
How you communicate affects more than the outcome of one conversation. Over time, communication patterns can influence trust, confidence, boundaries, conflict, and how connected you feel to the people who matter to you.
At Thrive Counseling, we help individuals and couples recognize unhelpful communication patterns and develop practical skills for expressing themselves more clearly and confidently. We also support parents and co-parents who want to communicate more effectively while navigating challenging family dynamics.
Thrive Counseling provides virtual counseling throughout Florida (Orlando, Lake Nona, Winter Park, Windermere) and Georgia (Alpharetta, Johns Creek, Milton, Roswell), with services also available in New Jersey (Princeton, Ridgewood) and South Carolina (Mount Pleasant, Daniel Island).
If you recognize your communication style in this article and want to learn how to communicate with greater confidence, schedule a consultation. Stronger communication skills can change the way you show up in your relationships.
