Do you avoid undesirable, uncomfortable feelings? Do you push them away and act like they don’t exist? That seems like a good idea, until they all come rushing back at once…
Sometimes it’s hard to feel emotions. Sometimes they’re just too uncomfortable, too ugly, or too painful to deal with. Sometimes it’s easier to shove the feelings away and turn your back on them. When an undesirable emotion surfaces, we quickly turn it off, stuff it into a jar, and tightly close the lid so it can’t get back out and torment us.
Many of us have Emotion Jars where we tuck away our unwanted feelings. Each time a new emotion arises we take out the jar and add the feeling to it, hoping it will magically go away.
But it never completely disappears. Instead, our bottled emotions seem to multiply with each day they spend pent up in our jars. Until one day, at the most inopportune moment, when they bust the jar open and come spilling out all at once. In a flash we’re overwhelmed by all of the feelings we’ve tried so hard to avoid. We’re crippled by our pain, discomfort, and fears.
Too many of us don’t learn from these experiences; as soon as we’ve worked through the unexpected onslaught of emotions we go right back to our old ways of repairing and refilling our Emotion Jar. Then act surprised the next time it explodes, releasing all we’ve kept hidden.
Emotion Jars may seem like a good idea, but in reality they prolong and exacerbate our undesirable, unwanted emotions.
I challenge you this week to take a minute to feel and experience your emotions before you shove them away. This doesn’t mean everything will be suddenly and completely different, but it’s the first step toward making lasting positive change. You can have a healthy relationship with your unwanted emotions… This is just the beginning!
What We Avoid Can Still Affect Us
Ignoring an emotion doesn’t necessarily make it disappear. Sometimes those feelings show up somewhere else: in the way we talk to ourselves, how quickly we react, the boundaries we struggle to communicate, or how we interact with the people closest to us.
At Thrive Counseling, individual counseling can help you better understand what you’re feeling, recognize patterns in how you respond, and develop practical ways to work through difficult emotions with greater confidence.
Because our emotions don’t exist separately from the rest of our lives. They can influence how we see ourselves and how we show up in our relationships.
Thrive Counseling provides virtual counseling throughout Florida (Orlando, Lake Nona, Winter Park, Winter Garden) and Georgia (Alpharetta, Roswell, Johns Creek, Milton), with services also available in New Jersey (Princeton, Ridgewood) and South Carolina (Mount Pleasant, Daniel Island).
If you’re tired of stuffing difficult feelings into your own “Emotion Jar,” schedule a consultation. Let’s talk about what it could look like to handle them differently.
