The messages we give ourselves and others can influence confidence, connection, and our relationships. What could change if we became more intentional about building people up?
This topic is one of my favorite things to talk about. I came up with this idea many years ago, and I never thought I’d be sharing it with the world.
I used to work in a high school. First I consulted in as a counselor for targeted “at risk” youth, then I was hired as a teacher working primarily with students who weren’t identified as “at risk”, but who, as we know, present with various personal and interpersonal struggles just like everyone else.
Showing up there every day I was bombarded with the constant negativity that was seen as “normal” in this high school community. People were putting themselves and each other down every chance they got. They would pick on each other, emotionally and physically, and not think twice about it or how it affected the other person. Feelings were hurt and confidence went down everywhere I turned.
I wondered what would happen if I challenged this norm, if I encouraged the kids to promote positivity.
So I created a board in my room and set the rules of the “game”. I laid out the fact that the majority of the messages we hear on a regular basis are negative. I challenged them to do things different and choose to build others up instead of tear them down. I gave the kids the opportunity to write anonymous, genuine, positive messages to others.
In order for this to work, in order for them to have a lasting, positive influence on the people around them, they had to share authentic, anonymous messages. I wanted the focus to be on the message that the person received, not the sender. I wanted to spread genuine positivity and change the environment of that community.
Years later, I can tell you that the Promote Positivity board was by far the most successful and well-loved part of my time at that school. Kids would light up when receiving their messages, and the majority of my teens kept their notes in a safe place for a day they weren’t feeling so good. Promote Positivity went beyond the 4 walls of my room, as kids took the idea and ran with it.
The Promote Positivity board changed the relationship many of those kids had with each other, and with themselves. They learned the power of both giving and receiving kindness. They learned how to grow their own confidence and relationship with themselves. And they learned how much influence they have toward strengthening the relationships around them.
The Promote Positivity idea is near and dear to my heart. I’ve seen its power first hand, and I challenge you to promote positivity in your life, your relationships, and your community.
Consider ways that you can promote positivity in your world. How can you work to build others up, fight the negativity around you, and see more of the goodness that’s inside of you?
The lessons I learned working with teens influence the work we do at Thrive Counseling today. The way we speak to ourselves and one another matters. Encouragement, confidence, and strong relationships can influence how teens and adults learn to see themselves and connect with the people around them.
The Way We Treat People Matters
The words we use, the encouragement we offer, and the way we show up in our relationships can have an impact long after the moment has passed. The same is true of the way we learn to speak to and treat ourselves.
At Thrive Counseling, we help teens, parents, and adults build confidence, improve communication, and better understand the relationships that influence their lives. Because when one person begins interacting differently, it can change more than that individual. It can change the relationships around them.
Thrive Counseling provides virtual counseling throughout Florida (Orlando, Lake Nona, Winter Park, Windermere) and Georgia (Alpharetta, Roswell, Johns Creek, Milton), with services also available in New Jersey (Princeton, Ridgewood) and South Carolina (Mount Pleasant, Daniel Island).
Ready to build greater confidence and stronger relationships? Schedule a consultation with Thrive Counseling.
